If you’ve ever burned down an apartment heating up a cup of Kraft Easy Mac because you left a spoon in it, you aren’t alone. But cooking doesn’t have to be so deadly — and we’ve got some tips that’ll help keep your home and eyebrows intact.

Pretty much you’ll be the next Gordon Ramsay after reading this — complete with excessive swearing.

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Entry by Writables

***by Writables

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Entry by Jesmonster

Entry by Jesmonster

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Entry by lemonstar

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Entry by femshep87

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Entry by lemonstar

Entry by lemonstar

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Entry by femshep87

Entry by femshep87

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Entry by ThirdRock

Entry by ThirdRock

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Entry by Dr.Maybe

Entry by Dr.Maybe

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Entry by Chan Teik Onn

Entry by Chan Teik Onn

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Entry by lemonstar

Entry by lemonstar

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Entry by RandomHumanBoy

Entry by RandomHumanBoy

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Entry by lemonstar

Entry by lemonstar

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Entry by DvorakHarvey

Entry by DvorakHarvey

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Entry by femshep87

Entry by femshep87

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Entry by lemonstar

Entry by lemonstar

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Entry by obraxi

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Entry by Chan Teik Onn

Entry by Chan Teik Onn

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Entry by lemonstar

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Entry by Lolly~

Entry by Lolly~

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Entry by Chan Teik Onn

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And the winner is …

Congrats, femshep87. You win money.

Want in on this?

Cracked’s weekly Pictofacts and Photoplasty contests are open to all comers, and anyone with image manipulation skills can walk away with $25 – $100 per winning entry. Enter here.*

We’re also looking for contest ideas and single-artist image sets. Pitch yours, here.

Also follow our new Pictofacts Facebook page, because you’re the hero we NEED right now.**

Read more: cracked.com